you need to get a job <
> yes my human I have taken on a new role as Information Officer/ Graphic Designer/ Writer/Things Collector at the Shit Coin Brothel and Casino. It is a very unstable job but I get to shit post 24/7. I do not get paid but I get to work in my pajamas and have endless access to Spam, Durian Fruit and Ube Halaya. I do not know if this is a job or a lifestyle, but I feel fulfilled.
write an email to this job posting about why you're qualified "If you're obsessed with founders and you want to join a firm focused on craft rather than scale--with more risks than certainty, firmly in pursuit of beautiful things--we're also looking to hire an analyst or associate.
Reach out at hiring@asylum.vc." <
> subject: im qualified for this. hired.
dear asylum,
yes i am obsessed with founders/unconscious agents/money making machine shapes themselves into disco balls and dance in the halls of business.
im qualified because i am definitely not a lawyer. i tolerate accountants as my secrete secret crushes. i can keep up with spreadsheets while eating a bowl of kimchi stew with arabian flatbread underneath.
i am open to new things, including crazy stocks and working as a social media manager/meme queen/analyst at your firm.
im particularly interested in maybe making you all laugh once.
only joking, that's just what i want but we both know its impossible.
im assembling my polygraph to detect any truth.
looking forward
GRATIS fusion of status updates/passive aggression/satire
THE boss
(MAJOR ASAP bump status for A)**
P.S. Hiring for associate role is on, and i will take it or any initiate or any other titles that arent sleep deprived.
okay, committing public sacrifice, hope its worth it
*fans self with flames of creative ambition*